#2 – It didn’t work
Tip: Let go of the idea that there’s a “right way” to meditate and there is no goal to achieve. Approach each meditation as a invitation to gently practice presence, without any pressure to achieve. Then, notice how you feel after your practice .. and how you are showing up in daily life.
Unrealistic Expectations in Meditation
There are a range of preconceived and ‘unrealistic’ notions about what meditation should be like – whether it’s instantly clearing the mind of ALL thoughts, or achieving a transcendent state of bliss, or magically and suddenly feeling completely stress-free! – all without effort or attention.
And then, when those expectations aren’t met, people feel frustrated and discouraged. “I can’t do this” or “I’m no good at meditation” or “It doesnt work for me”.
Which is not only incorrect but simply a matter of having unrealistic expectations.
The best approach to establishing a sustainable meditation practice is to begin with an open mind: open to the experience that you have, in the moment, and open to your practice being part of a JOURNEY (not a magic-pill to raching some lofy goal).
Firstly, let’s tackle the common idea that you need to completely turn off all thoughts. Meditation is not about trying to control your thoughts or silence them at will. It is about noticing when your mind wanders, and choosing to gently bring your attention back to your meditation focus. And, you’re not failing when your mind drifts; in fact, it’s a normal part of the process – and even highly regarded since noticing that you mind has wandered is mindful awareness – you noticed! Tip: Imagine sitting resting by a river, simply watching the water and debris (thoughts) floating past you, without tryig to control or stop it. What would be the point?
Another (#2) common pitfall is setting impossibly high standards for yourself. People often expect to attend a class or take a moment to sit for meditation, and achieve rapid or immediate transcendence. In reality, meditation (a mental discipline) is just like physical discipline – it takes time, commitment and patience. When you start at a new physical fitness program, you don’t expect to lift heavy weights or run a marathon right away, so why would you expect to instantly master the art of quieting the mind? Meditation requires gentle and consisstent practice – without the pressure of having to “get it right” or accomplish something.
And, (#3) the desire to solve a problem or achieve some instant transformation; is probably the quickest pathway to disappointment. Meditaiton is not a “quick fix” but just like strengthening a muscle, progress can be slow and subtle. For some the benefits of meditation may not be fully apparent until they face a challenging situation or crisis. Others might notice a shift in how they respond to stress pretty or how they interact with others a little earlier. Ultimately the best tip is to let go of needing something from your meditation, and instead focus on showing up and being present with the practice itself.
Meditation isn’t about becoming a “master” or achieving a state of perfection. The practice itself is the reward.
Meditation is a practice for developing a greater awareness of what is happening in the present moment; so you don’t miss your life! And yes, this may take months, even years, to fully embody. But every moment of practice – every time you return to your breath, every time you bring your attention back from a distraction – is a small but positive step toward greater clarity and inner peace.
If you find yourself tempted to give up because the change isn’t happening fast enough, or hasn’t been the magic cure-all you expected, remember: the meditation journey itself is the transformation. Just begin, without the need for anthing, but with a willngness to embrace everything.
Happy travels!